I know it might sound a little like I’m talking out of my ass, but I haven’t even been to Taco Bell in weeks. Anyhow, you can take it from the smut peddlers themselves: Sssh.com calls themselves “your source for ethically produced, sex-positive indie adult cinema.” I’m as skeptical as the next pervert when you label your fuck flicks as “feminist porn for women and couples,” but these guys aren’t some flash-in-the-pan newbie operation. They’ve been crowd-sourcing dirty movies since 1999 and racking up awards from outfits like the usual AVN and XBIZ, plus fancy-schmancy intellectuals like The Swedish Film Festival, LA Cinefest, and even The Feminist Porn Awards. With thousands of daily visitors flocking in to watch their unconventional brand of fap-fodder, I knew I needed to check it out for myself.

For Play Films calls themselves Your Only Source of Holistic Pornography, a statement that immediately brings a number of questions to mind. The cynical among the audience might notice the little TM in the corner and blow it off as nothing more than a marketing slogan, but I could tell the moment I landed that this ain’t your typical smut peddling operation. Maybe they ain’t bullshitting about putting out a masturbatory product where everything feels a little more connected than your average random-hookup reality porno.

I loaded up Lucid Flix for the first time this morning, unsure of what I’d find but intrigued by the name. I’ve dabbled in lucid dreaming, trying to make my wet dreams just a little more interactive, and I strive to write pornography reviews that are lucid and clear-headed. The third definition of lucid is more literary, meaning “bright or luminous” according to Oxford Languages. Would these flix live up to the name, and if so, in what way?

Joy Bear’s got a little blurb out on their tour page where they say, “Our goal is to change the perception of the adult entertainment business.” It's an awfully lofty goal for a website designed to shake your dick at, but their big stack of awards and nominations suggests that maybe they ain’t bullshitting. They’ve earned nods from AVN, XBIZ Europa, InStyle, Dusk Porna Awards, Toronto International Porn Festival, and Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards, which is respectable as all hell. At the end of the day, though, it ain’t awards that make my dick hard; it’s porno.

Sinful XXX! The anti-porn crusaders on TV would have you believe sex, smut, and whacking off are some of the most sinful evils of the world. Some might argue that depictions of procreational activities are only natural and good. Others, like SinfulXXX, go right ahead and embrace that sinful label and apply it to their refined brand of high-class pornography.

Frolic Me! You all know me by now. I’m the kind of dude who spends countless hours a week buried deep in the archives of porn with a noble mission to shed light on the world’s most elite-tier smut and send the shit-grade sites into the annals of porn to ensure that my fellow smut fans get to stroke their cocks and fill their pussies with the hottest filth around.

Delphine Films is a new enough brand that I’m sure a lot of you have some immediate wrong ideas about the website. Hey, I get it, because when the link slid into my DMs, I initially thought this was going to be a new offering from every neckbeard’s favorite pink-haired cosplay slut. Turns out, Belle Delphine ain’t involved in this production, but I wasn’t the least bit disappointed to find out who was. In fact, I started getting all hard and drippy just as soon as the tour page had loaded up.So, what exactly is the gimmick at DelphineFilms.com, anyway? Their About page lays out a heady spiel about presenting “a new vision for adult cinema” and combining “high-engagement cinematic quality, unique narrative and intimate sexual scenes to break barriers.” It’s a lot of words to tell us this paysite is putting out highly polished hardcore movies. Their traffic has shot way the fuck up in recent months, with nearly a quarter of a million visitors tuning in over the last 30 days. Popularity doesn’t necessarily mean quality, but it’s a strong enough indicator that I had to take a look ASAP.

Do you really See Him Fuck when you’re watching a straight porno? The woman or women are almost always the focus in fuck flicks, so much so that I rarely really mention the studs doing the banging unless they’re particularly noteworthy for the size of their hog, a third nipple or vestigial tail. My visitors here at ThePornDude usually care a lot more about the women, but I get the feeling you’re a little different in that respect. When you’re shaking your dick at the screen, you want to see him fuck just as much as you want to see her fuck.

If you asked people to describe porno, most folks will talk about movies where people fuck, or flicks about sucking dick. “Some hot chick gets a dick up her butthole, and somebody else aims a camera at the penetration.” Not many people will use words like cinema to describe a good anal sex movie, but then again, most perverts ain’t cranking it to the kind of smut they’re peddling over at LustCinema.

DaneJones! The formula for good pornography is actually pretty simple: put at least one hot girl on camera and get her to do sex stuff. There are infinite variations on the theme, with most producers stacking their productions with more sexy sluts getting stuffed with a bunch of big cocks. Porn director Dane Jones certainly does that, but also includes heavy doses of elements not found in every airtight orgy video: passion, chemistry, and genuine intimacy.

Am I the only one who fucking hates this new trend of super short clips going on in porn right now? How am I supposed to bust a nut to one of these cringy 30 second to fap videos? It’s bullshit. I’m not some beta who cums at their first glance of some nice tits. I like to take it slow, enjoy my experience. I’m not trying to rub one out quick before my parents get home like some of you losers out there.

Hot Movies for Her, other than being a long name for a porn site, strikes me as the kind that's all for women. I mean, duh, right? It's in the title. The porn titles Hot Movies for Her is coming with are really appealing to anyone. The site looks to have quite an array of categories while also featuring some of the most popular pornstars in the industry. Even if these girls aren't popular, the site includes rising stars that you're probably seeing pop up here and there.

Are you ready to Get Cheex? That’s the question posed by this next website’s domain name. The company actually refers to itself as Cheex, but it looks like they weren’t able to score the dot-com for the brand name. Personally, I would have thought up a different name with an available domain, but what do I know? I’m just the world’s most popular smut reviewer and the guy giving out tips over at PornWebmasters.

Erotica X? First of all, I have to say that being a premium member of any site is a treat for itself. Sometimes I don't even understand how it's worth it for all these premium sites to offer up so much for so little. I'm talking about EroticaX.com, a premium porn site that also offers access to HardX, DarkX, and LesbianX all for the price of one! This is what I'm talking about being a treat for itself. These sites are doing their best and are delivering the best so that we can get so damn much! I'm just overwhelmed, I can't even go on anymore man! But enough of my drooling over EroticaX.com, let's see what the real deal is. Maybe they are not so good, who knows?

I once jerked off in a Starbuck’s restroom after taking some upskirt shots of the soccer mom drinking her latte. Another time, I stole my stepsister’s panties and used them as a mask while I cranked off into her pillow. What’s your dirty confession? That’s the question behind XConfessions, an arty porn site that makes smut based on anonymous confessions.

Joy Mii! Raise your dick if Joymii makes you think about Nintendo before it makes you think about pretty girls getting fucked. Hell, I wouldn’t have guessed it was even a porn site hadn’t I known better. The name is squeaky clean, and the domain is a few years older than Nintendo’s Mii avatars, so you’d think they’d know better. Well, in the end, I guess it doesn’t matter because you’re here to twiddle your thumbs with an entirely different purpose than the video gamers, and that’s all that really matters.

Does seeing Hot Guys Fuck get you going? There’s a lot of smut out there that casts Joe Everyman as the stud, so you’ll see some world-class beauty getting hammered by an ugly old dude or some big-dicked, snaggle-toothed meathead. Shit, ol’ Ron Jeremy shot thousands of movies literally before getting popped for being a creep, and that guy looks like he lives in a cave under a bridge and charges passersby their firstborn as the toll for crossing. It seems like producers don’t always give a shit what the dude in a scene looks like, focusing all their time and effort into casting beautiful women to get nailed.

Sex Art! As a lifetime pervert with an advanced case of sexaholism, I would argue that sex is always art. I’d also argue that art is better with sex in it, and that pornography is the highest art form known to man. It celebrates and excites our most primal desires while providing the ultimate canvas for expression. When I see a porn site with a title like SexArt, I think, “These fuckers really get me!”

The first time I heard about Girls Out West, I kind of assumed it was going to be yet another porn site devoted to the horny, photogenic babes of Los Angeles County. One of the most beloved schizophrenic songwriters of the 20th century famously said he wished they all could be California girls, but maybe Brian Wilson just hadn’t seen how freaky and how sexy they grow ‘em if you just keep heading west, across the ocean and a bit to the south.

I know I can get quite picky when it comes to porn websites, which says a lot when there is actually a site I like, such as lustery.com. From the very beginning, I was drawn to it not only for the naughty content they have to offer but also for the great design and user-friendly interface, which I am sure everyone can fucking appreciate, am I right? Now, if this site is a place you’d personally want is completely up to you.

Bellesa Plus calls themselves the Netflix of Porn, which frankly wasn’t at all what I was expecting when I first heard the name. I was picturing a scaled-up version of Bellesa, which I’ve reviewed before here at ThePornDude. Their brand has largely been known for their pro-sex and pro-women take on dirty movies, their flicks featuring many real women having real orgasms. Now you’re telling me they’ve got some kind of package deal with their stuff plus other porn producers? Shit, why didn’t somebody wake me up sooner?