HDoom

HDoom appealed strongly to me as soon as I heard about it, but then again, I’ve always been a huge pervert with a few nerdish proclivities. If you tell me I might be able to shoot off a few loads while shooting my way through hordes of big-breasted imps and cocksucking demon whores, well, I might show up at your house with a gamepad, a chainsaw, and a big bottle of lube. Fortunately for you, me, and those mobs of satanic sluts, HDoom’s a free download so you can play along without leaving the house.

I assume you’ve already heard of the thing if you’re reading this, but just in case you haven’t heard the news, HDoom is a porn mod for the classic, original Doom. It’s been around for years and earns its creator a pocketful of Benjamin Franklins every month thanks to nearly 700 patrons. I’ve been wanting to give it a shot for a while now, so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Which leads me to the main problem I found with HDoom: it may be a small challenge to get this ancient PC game running, especially if you aren’t a tech-head, and then you’ve got to figure out how to use the mod. The HDoom page itself leaves you completely in the dark about how to get it up and running, and I’m sure a lot of potential new players are getting lost as they search through Reddit trying to find a tutorial. It took me twenty minutes to figure out, and I’ve been doing this kind of shit for a long time.

There are a number of ways to do it, but if you want to avoid headaches, do what I did. You’ll need to download three things: the HDoom mod, which is just a single file on the HDoomguy page I linked, a program called GZDoom, and an original Doom WAD file, which you can find easily with Google. Put everything in the same directory, then drag the HDoom PK file onto GZDoom. If everything goes right, the title screen will pop up, showing a hot hentai succubus with enormous tatas. (I did this on a PC, but GZDoom has Mac and Linux versions available as well.)

Even the difficulty settings have been renamed in HDoom. They start out easy with I’M TOO LIMP TO TRY, maxing out in the ultimate hardcore setting called NIGHT—MOM! KNOCK! I fucking loved the 2016 Doom and I’m still shooting my way through Doom Eternal, but it’s been a while since I played the PC classic. With that in mind, I went for the “normal” difficulty: FUCK ME PLENTY!

You can use the mod on any Doom map (WAD file), but it also comes with its own little episode called A Lady’s Chambers. I figured when in Rome, and started there. The game drops you into a long bedroom, with a funky MIDI track replacing that old E1M1 song that always reminded me of Metallica’s No Remorse. War without end!

It’s definitely Doom, though you can feel the new flavor immediately. Besides the updated music, there are few imps lingering around that bedroom. They’ve got hentai hair and tits, and none of them try to attack you. If you hit the action button in front of them, you’ll get some kinky lines of dialog encouraging you to put it in from the back, among other things.

There are a few control panels scattered around the bedroom, and each one makes a new monster spawn on the bed. This time, they do attack. Cacodemons, lost souls and barons of hell appear to fuck you up, but they’ve got all got anime girl faces and boobs, and their sound effects have been replaced by flirty/fighty girl voices yelling at you while you fight them.

HDoom’s new graphic, audio and gameplay updates really alter Doom’s whole vibe. I kept getting killed in the bedroom, but kept coming back for more. I found more of those non-attacking sprites in a hot tub room just off the bedroom, and one of the babes in there sucks you off when you hit the action button. I don’t remember any animated player/monster interactions in the original, so it’s a really nice touch.

I saw more sex animations the more I played. I really have to wonder how deep the mod goes. I couldn’t find a list of changes on the HDoom site, so the only way to figure it out is to just keep fapping your way through it. Sometimes you’ll see a bunch of hearts hover over a monster’s head after taking a beating, which is your cue to hit the action button for a beej or other indulgence before putting them out of their misery.

I hate to date myself this way, but after 25 years, I still know that first level like the back of my dick. The big difference is this time, the secret passage in the very beginning brought me to that gas-powered dildo instead of the original chainsaw. When I reached the end of the level, the screen reported that I’d nailed all the Kills, Items and Secrets, only it listed them as FUCKS, ITEMS and SECRETS.

I played it for a while, wondering the whole time who the target demographic is. I’m pretty sure HDoom is made for people exactly like me: perverts of a certain age who still get a little nostalgic for the original FPS that turned the genre into a global phenomenon, and who also want to see a little bit of T&A along the way. That said, it’s not exactly an easy game to beat off to. You may get a stray boner or two if you haven’t gotten laid or added another layer of crust to your socks in a few days, but this isn’t the kind of thing you load up when you’re trying to rub one out in the restroom at work.

HDoom is a novelty that may not appeal to the random, casual porn gamer, especially given the steps you’ll have to go through to even get it running. That said, I think it’s worth a look if you were a fan of the original Doom and have a perverted sense of humor, or if you appreciate video game history and also like hentai. You can tell just from the amount of time and effort HDoomGuy put into it that it’s a labor of love for him, which is one of the major reasons this mod continues to appeal to Doom fans.

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