TalkToMe

Do you want to Talk To Me? That’s more of a rhetorical question, riffing on the title to this next website, but your old pal ThePornDude is easy to reach if you ever want to hit me up—just check the About page for my contact deets! I have to admit, though, I ain’t nearly as skilled at the feminine dirty talk as the lovely ladies who we’ll be talking about today. If you’re looking for breathy whispers, kinky chitchat, or some truly X-rated sexting, these babes might be a better bet than taking your chances with the local fatties on Tinder.

TalkToMe.com is a modern phone sex platform that connects you to beautiful women via that gizmo in your pocket. The site’s been around for decades now, firmly establishing itself as something of an internet institution, with more than half a million monthly visitors stopping by for the kind of banter you don’t get around polite company. It might feel a little old school to the younger perverts in the audience, and maybe it is, but there’s a reason the format never went away even in a world of instant free online porn. Let’s see why that is, shall we?

My very first question when I pulled up the site was whether or not it actually works with your phone. They’re billing it as phone sex and sexting, but this is 2024, and most of us have grown used to interacting via the internet, especially when we’re dealing with strangers. Turns out, they take an even more holistic approach than I’d expected: you can make connections on your phone, through email, over a webcam, via the web or with Skype. What’s your poison, huh?

Those of you who are old enough or simply appreciate physical media will probably remember all those phone sex ads we used to see in the backs of nudie magazines going back decades. You know what’s fucking wild to me? The prices are about the same, and often cheaper than they were back in the ‘90s. Once you take inflation into account, I’d say it’s way more affordable than it used to be. Operators (“Talkers”) set their own prices, which start as low as 99 cents a minute.

You won’t be calling the lovely ladies of TalkToMe directly; they won’t see your phone number, and you won’t see theirs. There are two ways to make a call. Those of you who want to keep it really old-school can dial up their 800 number, while the more modern motherfuckers can set up their calls via the website, which will then ring you up on your phone. The latter option is going to be more convenient for almost everybody but your grandpa, but if you like navigating phone menus and writing down various numbers, have at it.

This may date me, but I remember dialing up 1-800 sex lines where you’d hear a prerecorded slutty message that ended with another phone number, and it’s that second number where they’d ask for your credit card to talk to a live horny chick. These were the free phone sex samples back then, but nowadays, it’s even better.

Talk To Me gives new users their first $10 for free. The catch is that you can’t just sign up, cash in your freebies and dip out. You’ve got to give them your credit card first, a good-faith signal that you can totally afford more if you feel like it. You won’t be charged until you actually fund your wallet, though, which ain’t required for the free tenner. This might be a test of willpower for some of the broke and horny dudes out there, but hey, we’ve all got our needs.

Once you’ve got your account set up, it’s time to talk to the Talkers of Talk To Me. Another way this system really beats the old skin-rag ads is that you can browse by operators who are available to chat right now. There are hundreds of women available at any given moment, and thousands more registered. Even if the girl of your dreams is busy right now, TalkToMe.com makes it easy to set something up for when they’re ready for you. Oh man, there goes all my free time!

I’m writing this review on a Wednesday afternoon, shortly after lunchtime, and there are over 600 Talkers online right now. You’ll almost certainly want to take advantage of their search filters, which let you peruse by factors like ethnicity, body type, language, eye color and boobie size. Make sure to check out the Roles filter, which lets you select options like Teacher, Spoiled Rich Girl, Submissive, Femdom and Cougar.

I started dialing in a few preferences, and I was bummed to learn that you can only apply one filter at a time. Letting users combine them would help us find our ideal Talkers easier, which would ultimately lead to Talk To Me making more money. I wanted a Curvy babe with a Porn Star Role who was Interested in Public Sex, but I could only select one of those things at a time. Each option brought up its own list of available Talkers, but I wanted to see where those lists overlapped.

Still, I did manage to find a smoking hot English MILF, Kristen, asking two bucks a minute. Her photos are sexy and her profile checks all kinds of boxes. I’d probably hit her up just based on her listed Talents, Call Reasons and Interests, but her reviews offer even more incentive. TalkToMe lets callers leave reviews of the Talkers, which can go a long way in helping you spend your money on some really sexy banter. Kristen has a 4.93 rating out of 5 and has been Favorited by nearly 500 Talk To Me members, which is promising as fuck.

I didn’t realize this until I was perusing Kristen’s profile, but TalkToMe.com also offers content sales from their Talkers. Kristen doesn’t have any audio or text available just yet, but she does have some sexy photo sets and uncensored videos for those who may be interested. This is icing on the cake, letting you get some eye candy while you’re talking on the phone. Phone sex never offered that in the old days!

TalkToMe.com is kind of an unassuming website, perhaps owing to the longevity of website and the even longer life of phone sex. It does bring the format firmly into the modern age, though, fixing all the old issues your dad remembers from the days of 1-900 numbers. The prices are cheaper than they were back then, the selection is better, and you can look at some videos while you’re chatting. What’s not to love?

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