Twitch ASMR

I’ve been mulling over this review for a while now, and for the longest time, I told myself that it’s just not worth it. There’s no reason to talk about Twitch. Twitch is just a gaming platform. The twitch thots will die out eventually when they get banned from the platform and so on. I could not have been more wrong. I know that most remarkable things on the internet eventually devolve into pornography, but I’m the kind of classicist who believes that porn and child-friendly spaces shouldn’t mix. Twitch was initially the best place for young people to hang out and watch back-to-back streams of video games being played by people from around the globe. Those days are over. Twitch is now officially one of the best places to feast your eyes on oiled-up giant breasts and some seriously cringey sexually suggestive content.

I usually don’t just jump to review when I see that a website has hot chicks. I’m not a fucking pig. I only ever jerk off to women who are clearly in the market to be jerked off to. So, porn stars are free game, and so are bitches that take their clothes off on camera for money. Those are technically strippers, but they fall under the porn umbrella. So, how do Twitch thots qualify? Well, I’m explicitly reviewing the ASMR section of Twitch, which has nothing to do with ASMR whatsoever. For the uninitiated among you, ASMR content is aimed at triggering a response in your brain that causes chills down your spine, soothing sensations, and in some cases even sleepiness. It’s supposed to be a great way to unwind, distress, and fall asleep or, at the very least, take a chill pill. Well, Twitch’s ASMR section has literally nothing to do with any of these things.

Hell, they’re even allowed to be half-naked with thongs and string bras, as long as they’re in the water. Whether it’s a pool or a bathtub, provided the babes are in the water, they’re allowed to be next to naked, again, keeping it PG-13. Combine those outfits with the water and the supposed ASMR performance, and you get a combination of huge wet titties and many audible reasons to fap to said titties.

The average subscription or donation milestone under Twitch’s ASMR section features the oiling of breasts, losing clothing, or even the extreme fast licking of binaural ear-shaped microphones. This shit is extreme. I know it sounds innocent on paper, but check them out for yourself, and you’ll see what I mean. You’ll understand why I’m reviewing Twitch’s ASMR section if you just take a casual glance at the content. Maybe it’s one of those things that cannot be genuinely described textually. Some smut content is implicitly hot, but you can’t convey that shit in words. You have to see it to believe it. I will bet my left nut that you can easily empty both your nuts to the content on Twitch’s ASMR section, though. I am that fucking convinced that this is where all the nerds are jerking off these days.

Seriously, there is so much fucking licking. I don’t understand why there’s this much licking. Hell, sometimes these babes get together and lick the damn microphones at the same time, in couples, I mean. At that point, they’re basically an inch away from just doing a fucking lesbian spit swapping session, but because their tongues never touch, it’s technically not smut. This is just about the best rule skirting I’ve ever seen in the name of producing fap-worthy content.

I recommend that you check out Twitch’s ASMR section and browse through a few of these bitches. Naturally, since this is not a porn site, you can’t filter out the men from the women, but there aren’t a lot of men to speak of anyway, so it’s hardly going to be a problem. Hell, the few men on the site actually are doing proper ASMR, so if you need to sleep, swap over to their videos. If you need to fap, get back to the chicks, and you’re good to go.

Consider giving them donations at your own discretion. Personally, I’d save that money for the OnlyFans subscriptions, but there’s nothing wrong with throwing some cash at Twitch thots if you really do appreciate the work they’re doing. Besides, most babes have rewards for their subscribers, so you’re likely to get your money’s worth. Just make sure to comb the section carefully before settling on a favorite. There are too many thots to count, so be patient on your quest to find the hottest one.

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