Private.com

Private.com has the kind of one-word domain that has got to be Internet gold. I wonder how many random visitors they get who are just trying to find a way to keep their secrets safe from Google, Facebook and their wives. Considering at least half of those secrets are an insatiable desire to bang sexy women in face, mouth and butthole, those rando websurfers end up in the right place anyway. Isn’t it funny how life works out?

Private calls itself “Europe’s most visited multi-lingual porn site,” a claim that’s backed up by the thousands of visitors flocking in every day, dicks out and pants around their ankles. The site’s been around so long they feel almost like an online institution, and there’s a really good chance you’ve beaten off to their material before. If not, there’s always time for another fap break.

The biggest thing that makes Private stand out from USA-made porn sites like Naughty America or BangBros is the cast. They’re casting some of the sexiest euro pornstars in the business, along with the next wave of up-and-comers. If you’re into the European stuff or just watch your fair share of porn, you’re going to recognize a lot of these girls.

Speaking of, they’ve got Gina Gerson working a trio of dicks with her mouth and hands in one of the front-page thumbnails. Taylor is taking on five one-eyed snakes, while Anissa Kate and Eva Parcker are getting all filled up in an MMFF foursome scene. Ferrera Gomez might be a little chick, so those multiple dicks look like a really fucking tight fix.

They’re clearly into group sex in this joint, but there are some nice one-on-one encounters as well. Blanch Bradburry is twerking that lovely bubble butt on a big cock, and wait until you see Anjelica gets her 18+ teen ass fucked and her little rack jizzed on. These girls are getting into all kinds of naughty adventures.

I’m serious: go watch it now. The Anjelica scene is one of their free movies. While many paysites just upload 12-minute sample scenes to the free tubes and call it a day, Private has some full-length movies available on the front page and in their free area. Check both pages, because I found half a dozen big freebies, including a massive 93-minute outdoor orgy. They’ve also got a ton of interviews and other extras available for no-cost fapping.

Their membership rates are pretty standard, so if you’re a regular paysite customer, you’ll know what I’m about to tell you. A month goes for thirty bucks, with deep discounts for longer memberships. The yearly sub breaks down to $12.50 a month, which is barely even 2 cups of coffee these days. Anyway, Starbucks banned me after the last incident with the stray pubes.

These guys have been peddling smut for a good, long minute, which means there’s a big-ass library of dirty movies to shake your dick at. They kick it old-school with “DVD” compilations, though everything is streaming and I didn’t see any physical media for sale. The stats on the front page break it down in hard numbers: over 6500 scenes comprising more than 1000 movies, starring thousands of pornstars.

I thought I might have to break out the calculator to figure how often they update, but nah, they list it in the member’s area. I’m not sure why they wait to reveal it until you’ve already paid, because the release schedule is a big selling point on its own. Private.com is updated daily with new content, so you’re never stuck waiting to watch another euro chick get her brains fucked out.

Recent “DVD” movies include Adorable Teens 5, Sexy Yoga in Paradise, Anal Loving Teens 2 and Little Caprice Home Stories. The names tell you pretty much exactly what you’re getting inside, and the covers will have you wanting to watch all of them.

I clicked my way to a full movie with a name that implied taboo and interracial: My Stepmum Has a New Black Boyfriend… And I’m Gonna Fuck Him! The flick breaks down to four full-length scenes starring chicks like Freya Dee, Adelle Unicorn and Tiny Tina. The threesome with Daphne Klyde and Nikky Dream was calling my name, so I decided to start my official fap test there.

The music switches to techno as Daphne pulls off her panties and starts playing with herself, then cuts off as Nikky notices and starts acting offended. “Fucka ah you doing?” she asks with a comically thick accent. “You want see ah beeg bleck cock?”

I like the way disputes are resolved in this family, so I recommend Private.com instead of family therapy if you find yourself with similar issues. Nikky squats, pulls the dude’s pants down in front of Daphne, and starts slurping away. She gives it just a couple of licks before inviting the younger generation to join her for a taste.

It’s a nice, long double blowjob scene that gets even better when Nikky brings her feet to the party at the 9-minute mark. She’s clearly given a footjob before, sandwiching the dude’s cock between her soles and working the shaft with her toes as Daphne makes gobbling sounds on the head.

I still hadn’t even reached the halfway point of the video, so Private obviously ain’t skimping with short-ass daily updates. You can have a marathon wank every day with these dudes. They also include downloads with the membership, so save away.

It’s a fucking fantastic piece of porno, and I’ll probably watch another installment after I clean the sperm off my keyboard and recharge a bit. I’m particularly enthralled with Nikky Dream and a little disappointed this is her only movie on Private. Daphne, on the other hand, has starred in at least a half dozen of them, so it looks like I’ve got work to do.

And having work to do is my biggest complaint about Private. I mean, I guess it isn’t their fault you or I have to put roofs over our heads somehow, but the site probably contributes to a staggering amount of lost productivity. Just tell the boss you had a personal medical emergency, which is technically sort of true from the right angle.

Private.com seems like a pretty fucking easy recommendation for anybody into euro chicks. The selection is absolutely humongous, growing by the day, and they aren’t asking a penny more than the other guys. They’re also one of few premium joints giving out full-length pornos as freebies, so check them out even if you’re not in the market for another paysite subscription.

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