OffRobe

I took off my robe as I pulled up Off Robe this morning, earning a bunch of weird looks from all the other passengers on the bus. It wasn’t long, though, before I had bums, businessmen and even the bus driver himself peering over my shoulder at the magic unfolding on my phone. “Tell us, oh wizard,” the people spoke, “how is it that you are making your fantasies and our own appear as if by magic on this devilish device of yours?” I told them the same thing I’m going to tell you: it ain’t witchcraft, but a 21st century marvel of technology.

That’s right, folks: the wonder of OffRobe.com ain’t limited to the supernatural occultists nor the technological geeks of the world. Anybody and everybody can use this instant custom AI porn generator, and the traffic suggests that’s exactly who’s filing in the door. They got close to half a million visitors last month with more on the way, and they’ve generated more than 20 million X-rated images since they opened up shop. I look at porn all day, but man, it’s never enough. Let’s see if some custom content helps ease the blue balls a little better than the packaged meds at Pornhub.

In fact, Off Robe’s primary service reminds me a lot of the very first generation of AI porn sites I started reviewing about a year ago. They were all standalone picture machines, and the basic features here are still what I expect from the niche. Their AI can dream up realistic fake nudes as well as hentai imagery. Sure, I’d seen it before, but I still had reason to be excited.

I’ve been reviewing new AI platforms almost every day for a while now, and it’s been fucking wild watching the technology evolve from week to week. It’s been months since I wrote about a standalone image generator, so I expected to see some improvements from the last platform. The front-page sample pics only seemed to confirm that.

I feel like I’ve gotten pretty fucking good at spotting AI fakes, which is why I was so impressed by those prebaked pics of caressing couples. These AI nudie makers have historically had a lot of trouble depicting people doing things together, but nobody’s boobs are melting into their boyfriend’s face around here, at least not in the samples. I spotted a couple weird fingers, but I had to really look for the deformities. Everything I saw only made me more eager to step into the lab and start tinkering.

Memberships start at around $13 a month for their Sexplorer pack, which includes a nice little stack of gems but not all of the features. The Sex Pro and Sex Master subscriptions add more gems, which you’ll spend creating images, and each tier rolls in some more premium features. Sex Pro users get advanced editing, better resolution, as well as more scenes and sex positions.

Sex Masters unlock even more AI styles and positions, plus they’re first in line for access to new features. OffRobe has custom animations and custom sex characters coming soon, which is great, but personally? I’m just not a huge fan of tiered memberships that make you choose which features you want and save the best stuff for the big spenders. I prefer one-price unlimited-everything plans anywhere, but given the cost of feeding AI, I’d be happy if it was strictly token-based around here.

Then I hit the Generate button and spent four gems. OffRobe.com spat out a quartet of pics in under ten seconds. This is one of the fastest AI image generators I’ve tried, and the results still looked gorgeous. She doesn’t have Justine’s face, obviously, but I’m kind of blown away by just how perfectly they’ve recreated the original. It’s like their robot brain is fucking psychic, because that sure as hell looks like SoCal, where I shoot.

As hoped, the results really do look better than earlier AI photo apps I’ve tested. Fucked-up fingers aside, I’ve always felt like faces have been a real weak point for Artificial Intelligence. Most of them can whip up a mouthwatering body, but then they’re topped with faces that transform from pretty to monstrous if you look for more than a second. Anybody remember The Devil’s Advocate with Keanu Reeves? Off Robe is dreaming up some lovely mugs, which are going to go great with the consistent character feature they’ve got coming. There’s no way to make the same beatific faces over again just yet.

I tweaked my original request a bit. This time I wanted to see that slim, brown-haired MILF fully naked, and that’s not all. I hit the Poses button, which brought up a menu of standard porn keywords like BJ, Missionary, Big Tits and TitJob, at least for the basic Sexplorers. Sex Pro members get another couple rows of Ass Gaping, Bondage and Footjobs. As a Sex Master, I had access to the full spread, including Dildos, Double Handjobs and Milking. This isn’t the first menu of AI sex acts I’ve seen, but it might be the biggest.

I figured I ought to take advantage of my big-boy membership and chose one of those exclusive poses, the Cheek Bulge. Then I hit the Generate button, waited a few seconds, and then said, “I’ll be damned.” Two of the four pics were duds, but definitely not the worst I’ve seen. In one, two babes are teaming up for what would be a hot double blowjob were it not for the extra pecker poking out of penis prime. The other is more subtle in its freakishness, the lovely brunette gripping that dong with an alien claw.

Two out of four might get you fired at the condom testing facility, but if you’re an AI fan, you already appreciate those odds. My two winners just look like blowjob pics, though perhaps photoshopped into a perfect-skin cosmetics ad. I’m pretty fucking thrilled to find out this thing can do legit porn pics, but I know this is probably going to be the last productive thing I do today. Well, unless you count filling up the bucket for my sperm bank donation later.

OffRobe.com is cranking out better pics than the AI nudie apps that came before it, but the custom pornography is really the star of the show around here. This is something that we’ve all seen promised time and time again since Artificial Intelligence showed up on the scene with its big, robotic dick out. OffRobe ain’t perfect just yet, but it’s worlds away from the funny faces and melting bodies you often end up with elsewhere. Believe me when I say it’s only going to keep getting better.

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