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I’ve been going a little bananas for Banana Movies, and it’s not just because I appreciate the elongated, delicious and typically seedless fruit. No, the bananas on the platform are strictly metaphorical, and I have a feeling they’re used in the title as a stand-in for something else that’s long, though much harder than even the most unripe plantain. So, who’s ready to peel their banana into an old gym sock?

While the whole world is on lockdown thanks to the coronavirus, I’ve found the isolation has been good for helping ease another serious ailment: my crippling case of yellow fever. Yeah, I just can’t seem to stop whacking off to hot Asian broads no matter how dire the situation gets outside. Thank God for PornHub’s Asian section, am I right?

If the sign says Baddies Only, that might be a sign that dorks, doofuses, dweebs and dinguses like yourself ain’t allowed past the front door. Then again, we ain’t talking about some badass biker bar with a mean doorman and a stage full of buck-naked strippers with big titties. Nah, we’re talking about another porn site on the Internet, and wouldn’t you know it? It turns out they do accept folks like you, not to mention anybody with a web browser and a raging hard-on.

Would you call yourself a Porn Top, or are you more of a smut bottom? However you define your relationship with dirty movies, I bet you’re really into them; otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this here on ThePornDude. Hey, don’t feel bad. It’s a well-known fact that the web consists of 94% pornography and 6% MLM schemes, and I’m not about to try pushing some diet pills or yoga pants on you. You and me, we’re into the same shit, which is why I think you’re going to like this next website.

There’s just something magical about good, real amateur pornography. Yeah, those pornstars with the silicone-enhanced bodies and practiced moans are hot as fuck, but sometimes you just want to beat off to a horny babe who ain’t in it for the money. The best amateurs want to get off as bad as you do, and that’s exactly who you’ll find over at Adultism.com.The site has been around since 2000, which practically makes it an institution in the world of online smut. They’ve had ups, downs, and a bunch of site redesigns along the way, but Adultism has held strong for the long run. They get a couple of million views a month these days and have one of the most active amateur pervert communities around.

I had Dorcel Vision recently, so I made an appointment to visit the local eye doctor to see if she had anything that could help. It turns out she didn’t, and now there’s a photo of me near the counter and a note to call the police if I show up. I guess the lesson here is that if you’re afflicted with a condition named after a world-famous French-Hungarian pornographer, you’re better off just jerking off than getting a new pair of glasses.