Suck Me VR

If you can’t guess what SuckMeVR is selling, then let me be the first to congratulate you on finally getting out of prison or whatever isolated cult compound you’ve been holed up inside of over the last few years. The Suck Me half of the equation gives it away as something filthy and fapworthy, while the VR tacked onto the end lets you know this is going to be some of that next-level, futuristic shit that drops you right into the action. You’ve got a good virtual reality headset at your disposal, right? In this case, it’s even more important than a well-lubed fap sleeve.

That’s right, folks: SuckMeVR.com offers premium dirty movies in mind-bogglingly realistic VR. They’ve been around since 2022 and pull tens of thousands of visits per month. By the numbers, they ain’t the most popular VR site in the world, but they’ve got some major perks you won’t find just everywhere. Spoiler alert: the membership package comes with a lot more pornography than you’re probably expecting right now. Without any further ado, let me tell you all about it.

I didn’t preorder the Quest 3, so I guess I’m now something of an aging hipster doofus rocking outdated machinery. Fortunately, my last gen device is fully capable of beaming these Suck Me VR movies directly into my eyeballs. Unlike most 2D paysites these days, you can download some free video previews, load up your device, and see just how realistic it looks and feels. Their movies go all the way up to 4K, so you’d better set some time aside to account for the downloads.

When I saw the title, I really thought SuckMeVR.com was going to be a 3D blowjob site like SwallowBay, which I’ve reviewed previously here at ThePornDude. Turns out, it’s considerably more wide-ranging than that. They’ve got a nice variety of fucking and sucking, a spread that includes titty fucks, masturbation, cosplay humping and anal creampies right out on the front page. There’s even a Foot Job category for those who love pretty tootsies—yours truly included!

SuckMeVR ain’t shooting with the most famous A-list pornstars out there, but they’ve got a sexy cast of European babes in 3D. They’re generally slimmer than American chicks, with beautiful faces and healthy sexual appetites. It’s all white girls at this point, but you’ve got your pick of blondes, brunettes and redheads. Who do you want to bang in VR today?

With most networks, you have a pretty good idea of what to expect from all of their imprints and offshoots. TeamSkeet and Reality Kings come to mind; they’ve both got big-ass selections of brands, but they’re mostly selling the same basic flavors in slightly different packaging. There’s more variation among the sites included with SuckMeVR. Currently, you get 3 VR sites, a few types of Asian porn, and a nice library of the usual white-girl porno you find anywhere.

One of the major drawbacks with networks in general is that the updates can be sporadic from site to site. Suck Me VR defied my expectations, as they’ve been putting out a new VR porno every few days. Throw in the rest of the network and you’re looking at a handful of fresh videos every week. My golden standard for paysites is just one fresh drop per week, making this one a solid value for your dollar.

SuckMeVR.com currently has around a hundred virtual reality fuck flicks in their stash. It ain’t the biggest library in the world, but it’s certainly respectable, especially since they’re in a niche as tight as VR. Again, though, this is just a fraction of what’s included with the membership. The whole thing will cost you the same thirty bucks you typically pay for a singular paysite, even my own PornDudeCasting. It’s kind of like buying your masturbatory material at Costco.

Since this is a VR site, you’ve probably already guessed that downloads are included with the standard membership package. Downloads ain’t a given anymore on 2D sites, but VR always looks best in the highest quality your gizmo is capable of. Fortunately, they’re also standard across the included sites on the network, keeping the perks old-school and letting you fill up your hard drive so you don’t get blue balls when your membership runs out.

As a guy with my own cartoon-sized mascot head, I have a certain affinity for those babes in plush costumes. I decided to tune in to a 25-minute movie starring the lovely Russian Jolie Butt. The full 5K VR version is nearly 9 gigabytes, so if you’re playing along at home, make sure to start that download before it’s time to lube up and get fapping.

After a quick calibration screen and a Suck Me VR logo, the scene opens with the viewer laying in bed as Jolie peeks in the door. She makes a purring sound and giggles, looking both cute and sexy in her cat ears and funny gloves. I don’t understand the dirty talk since I don’t speak Russian, but she’s got a pretty face and breathy voice, plus the VR perspective puts her right in front of me. I often skip intros on 2D movies, but the immersion here makes the setup all the more enticing.

Jolie keeps up the chitchat and giggles as she sits down on the bed, just feet from where I’m lying. It feels intimate as hell even before she starts pawing at “my” legs and leaning in, putting her pretty face close to my own. It’s kind of a long setup, the clothes staying on for the first seven minutes, but the VR immersion keeps it interesting.

When things do start heating up, they heat up fast. Jolie pulls her bra down and starts playing with her nipples while my stand-in starts playing with himself. VR male masturbation ain’t my thing, but when Jolie joined the fun, I couldn’t look away. In fact, I think I’m going to wrap this up so I can enjoy it with two free hands instead of pausing to type every couple minutes.

On its own, SuckMeVR.com is a pretty standard entry in the VR porno niche; it’s got a nice collection size, a lovely cast of relatively unknown Euro chicks, and a solid range of sexual subgenres to keep things interesting. What bumps the membership up to the next level is the inclusion of that whole-ass network of dirty movies, offering a wider variety of material than you often expect from a network package. There are plenty of free previews, so I recommend downloading a couple to see what they do for you. If you like what you see, there’s a whole lot more inside.

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