BestJavPorn

Best Jav Porn? What does it take to be the best? I guess it depends entirely on what you want to be the best at. I’m pretty well-established on the Internet as the world’s best porn reviewer, and that’s based on my impeccable style, wit, and my encyclopedic knowledge of the ins and outs of hardcore fuck movies: big dick goes in, girlcum squirts out. Elsewhere in the world of porn, people try to claim best status just by putting it in their name. BestJAVporn is one of the newest on this bandwagon.

I’m not saying these guys aren’t the best. I don’t know yet. I’m about to take a look and see how they measure up, but it’s a pretty fucking bold statement for a site only a few months old to claim superiority over the other JAV sites on my list. BestJAVporn.com may be new as hell, but they still get over 11,000 visitors each and every day. I’m really curious what these motherfuckers are shaking their dicks at.

Of course, ThePornDude ain’t a design website and you don’t give a fuck about the background, the font or text size. I’m 100% certain you’re more interested in the DVD covers that line the screen. They’re tiny, so there’s less explicit sex visible than on your typical free tube, but what is visible is sexy as hell.

The top of the screen features their most recent censored JAV porn videos. Goddamn, that Japanese repression is always inescapable on these porn sites, but at least they’re upfront about it. Cooters may be covered, but the movie titles themselves speak volumes about the absolute depravity within.

I love Japanese porn titles. They’re always long and perhaps overly descriptive, a result of translations that don’t go smoothly and that noisy aesthetic they love over there in the Land of the Rising Sun. They’ve just got to have text all over the fucking place, don’t they? The newest video is called Akari Neo I Was Stranded with My Girlfriends Little Sister by Sudden Rainstorm, and so We Had to Stick It. The one before that is called Ena Koume An Eros Company Explosion! Three Deep and Rich J Cup Titties Sensuality Developing Fucks 231 Ecstatic. Catchy!

Only the views, duration and title of the movies are visible. You don’t get any tags listed on the front page, so you really have to guess based on those crazy fucking titles. There is a ton of depraved diversity, though. There’s a teen babe who wants to scream but has to stay silent, a stepmother doing unspeakable things to her stepson, a big-titted secret agent who has to infiltrate the aphrodisiac lotion factory, and a freaky 18+ schoolgirl movie called I Saw a Girl Crying at the Train Station and Took Her Home.

What’s funny about the uncensored stuff is that I see a lot of those obfuscating pixels, but they aren’t covering the cunts and cocks like you’d expect. Instead, one girl has her face blurred out while she licks the head of a shaft, and a dude has his eyes covered by digital bricks as he feasts on a dinner of hot Asian poon. Another screen grab shows side-by-side images of an 18+ schoolgirl, one in her uniform and the other in just her socks. In each shot, her face is hidden by a big, pink splotch.

I wonder what the deal is. Maybe it just boils down to that Japanese repression. This is a country where they literally can’t find enough porn studs to star in their fuck movies, even though their actual content is some of the most absolutely depraved and perverted in the entire world.

I mean, just look at this stuff. The most recent uncensored Japanese Adult Video is an hour-long bondage epic about a hot bitch being tied up with rope in elaborate knots, getting filled with dick and having her pussy tortured with a vibrator until she’s screaming. There is explicit taboo, none of this stepfather bullshit, and a fat pregnant bitch introducing her baby to a big, one-eyed snake. On most free tubes, you have to at least dig in a little bit before you start seeing all the really kinky stuff. On JAV sites, it’s always the first shit you see.

I clicked the Play button and got a loading screen for an advertisement. The spam didn’t actually load, probably because I’ve got a good spam blocker running, but the video didn’t start playing either. Another box popped up offering me the opportunity to Close Ads. I was actually sure that box would be the spam activator, but my plug-in protected me again.

Out front, they claim this was an HD movie. It starts playing at 480, already looking grainy. I was about to hit the little gear icon to max it out at the highest resolution, but the video stopped playing a few seconds in. BestJAVporn flashed a message saying I had to turn off my ad blocker to continue watching.

Fuck! I refreshed the page and went through the same process again. Sometimes you can trick these things, but apparently BestJAVporn’s anti-anti-spam technology is just too much today. It’s a cat and mouse game, so hopefully, the spam plug-ins catch up to this bullshit soon.

This time, the entire thing was covered in animated ads for futanari humping games, “local singles” who totally want to fuck me right now, wiener pill ads that slide around the screen, as well as a bunch of WebCam show links. BestJAVporn would also like to show me notifications. I clicked Block because they don’t have a Fuck You button.

This time, clicking Play got me a pop-under add but the clip didn’t start. I clicked Play again and got a couple more ads for hentai games and hookups. The video did not start. I clicked the Close Ads button and then the Play button once again. The video still didn’t start, but I got a pop-up ad.

Fourth time is a charm, apparently, because BestJAVporn finally let me watch the movie. It even started at the four-second mark, since that’s where they cut me off before. I immediately maxed out the video to 1080p, and no, it doesn’t look any better. This is a DVD rip at best, not actual HD video.

I tried skipping ahead to the actual fucking, since JAV movies tend to start slow. The video player served up a fully animated add for a CGI hentai game. After about 10 seconds of listening to the girl squeal while getting her cunt pounded in a loop, I finally got to see the 18+ schoolgirl all tied up and getting her clothes cut off.

BestJAVporn doesn’t live up to its name at all, and I think their 11,000 monthly viewers are absolute suckers. The selection is decent here, but nothing special. It’s certainly not good enough to put up with all the spam this website throws at you with no hope for escape. If you really want to beat off to Japanese Adult Video, I’ve got a lot of much better sites on my list. Fuck these guys.

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